Today I used Euclid I.1 and my belt to hang a painting of a sailboat and center it nicely over the towel rack in the upstairs bathroom. And **they** said a liberal arts education was impractical. Fools, for they have no far-reaching minds...
In other news, two of my Danish relatives - Tante Anna and Onkel Tommy - arrived tonight in anticipation of my oldest brother's upcoming nuptials. They are both 75: Anna is in the early stages of Parkinson's, while Tommy is still tall and handsome with his thin white hair and icy-but-laughing blue eyes. Tommy's cool, Anna's a bit harder to be comfortable around, and of course there's the language barrier. English wasn't taught in the schools in their day, and my Danish vocabulary is restricted to such simple phrases as jeg er tørstig (I am thirsty), godnat (good night), rug brød (rye bread), jeg ikke snakke dansk (I don't speak Danish), and jeg er forstoppelser (I am constipated - this fine tidbit of knowledge is due to my little brother's unfortunate reaction to the Danish diet on our last visit there). Oh and let's not forget the Danish national joke, which consists of asking the English-speaker to say rød skrød med flode (red berries with cream - very popular Danish dessert). Looks easy enough in writing, but the language is so gosh-awfully guttural that the phrase sounds something like this: "hrruoll skruoll mel fluhrtheh", with strong undertones of gagging. Always good for a giggle. New vocab learned this evening: bange-buks, or "scaredy-pants", which is the Danish equivalent to "chicken" and was applied to yours truly for avoiding the chunks of celery swimming around in my bowl of soup. The whole language thing is actually pretty fun - it's amazing how much of a conversation you can understand just by picking up on certain words that sound like their English equivalents. Should be doubly interesting when the French side of the family arrives next week...
6 Comments:
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! There you go Mel, that spammer has solved all your financial woes with one simple post!
Even better, while I was skimming that comment, I thought one of the last lines read "Professional Monkey makers online"...
What is a professional monkey maker? I am scared to know.
K-sra - who are you? Anyway, I'd guess that a professional monkey maker was one of a pair of monkeys under observation at the zoo. And professional money makers would be - ah, let's not go there, this is a good little Catholic blog.
Talitha, I am a friend of Joey's. Formerly his stalker. Momentarily that is, before I lost interest and ran out of money. Now I just have one of his posters up over my bed and tell him about my day every night before I go to bed.
No, that's not true either. Joey turned me down because I'm not a good little catholic. I found a less picky catholic to date now and I'm quite happy. In fact we went to a wedding as one of our first dates and I had to stand with the rest of the "old meat" section while they lobbed a bouquet at us. The bride was backlit which made it difficult to see the incoming missile. It hit some girl in the head. Talk about insult to injury. I didn't catch the boquet. I can see how catching it accidentally as you did would lessen the humiliation of being singled out for being single. Also, making out on the dance floor at the end of the reception makes you look less like a loser. So I had that going for me.
By the way, if you don't want the spam adverts (like the one above) you'll have to give in and put a spam blocking word verifier on your comments section. It's all the rage!
K-sra, I like your story. To clarify however, I wasn't thrilled about catching the bouquet, I just find the whole incident amusing. To lessen the loserdom, I pressed a kind friend who could really cut a rug - which was fun - into being my date for the evening, but we weren't really into the making-out thing. Better luck next time...
Joey turned you down? That cold-hearted fiend! He obviously doesn't know what's good for him. Where do you get these posters? I used to try to tell him all about my day too, back when we were washing dishes together at That Anonymous College, but he never seemed to want to listen.
As for a spam blocking word verifier... maybe once I figure out what one is...
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