The perfect way to end a really s****y day is to, step one, spend some of your very few last dollars on a six-pack of beer, and instruct your younger brother in the importance of not telling everyone you bought it. Then - step two - when Mom returns home, have him tell her that you bought beer and didn't want him to tell anyone. Great. Step three; as they sit drinking my beer, my parents are discussing what to do about their unemployed, selfish, alcoholic failure of a daughter.

That's it. I'm stealing the family nissan and moving to Calgary.